Forgiveness

Looking at Forgiveness From a Biblical Perspective

Forgiveness can be a complex and complicated process. Its impact can be felt deeply, by the giver and the receiver. Its effect can be far-reaching, touching the hearts of many.

Just as no two people are the same, no two hearts are the same and every situation is different.

Maybe you find yourself in a situation where you feel deeply hurt by the actions of someone you love and trusted.

Maybe you are carrying the guilt of a wrongdoing you have committed against someone else and are not sure how to move forward with asking for forgiveness.

Or perhaps you find yourself in a situation where you just do not know who is in the wrong or the right, but you know that forgiveness needs to happen, but you’re not sure if you need to be the one to initiate and how to proceed.

Wherever you find yourself today, on the offering or receiving end of forgiveness, you can find wisdom, peace, and the ability to offer or receive this precious gift, from the one who paid for and gives ultimate forgiveness, our Lord, Jesus.

Misconceptions About Forgiveness

Forgiveness needs to be asked for in order for it to be offered. 

One problem with this theory is that if we follow the example of Jesus, he clearly offered forgiveness, even to those who didn’t want it, or even realize they needed it. A well-known verse, but never overused as it shows the perfect example of forgiveness for us to pattern after Jesus, is Luke 23:34. Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.” They did not even know they needed His forgiveness, yet Jesus gave it freely.

Another problem with this theory is this - when you harbor forgiveness in your heart, it has nowhere to go and manifests itself in other forms, such as hurt, anger, bitterness, and resentment. Although this does not affect the person who doesn’t want your forgiveness, it does affect you, and can even reach out to the people around you and your relationship with the Lord.

This is not to say that you need to or can force someone to accept your forgiveness. Ultimately that is their choice. Even Jesus never forces his forgiveness on anyone. He offers it and it’s up to each individual to accept or reject it.

Forgiveness means excusing the behavior.

When we choose to forgive someone that has committed an offense against us, it does not mean we accept or excuse their behavior. It simply means that we are giving up our attitude of resentment, anger, hurt, sorrow, and bitterness that we may be feeling in our heart and replacing it with forgiveness for them and peace for ourselves. That in no way excuses their actions.

“To err is human, to forgive, divine.”

This famous quote reminds us that we all make mistakes. The key is to own up to it, fix it when we can, and, you guessed it! When we have committed an offense against someone, whether intentionally or unknowingly, we need to ask for forgiveness.

Notice it doesn’t say that it is easy, although sometimes it can be. It says it is divine: holy, blessed, relating to God. This is the way we need to view it. Sometimes, within our own hearts, it can be difficult to find the power to forgive. God knows how we are wired and knew it might at times be difficult, so He gave us instruction in His Word, and not only that, He sent a living example for us.

“Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” (Ephesians 4:32)

This verse exemplifies the instruction we are given concerning forgiveness and shows that Jesus led by example, forgiving us with compassion, whether we choose to receive it or not.

There is no greater reason or motivation to forgive than because God forgives us and no one better to pattern our life after than the One who gave His life so that we can receive the greatest forgiveness ever offered.

As believers, we are not only called to offer forgiveness, but just as importantly, and sometimes even more difficult, we need to receive it. It sounds so simple, doesn’t it?

Here’s the thing. Sometimes the seemingly easy tasks can be the hardest, and it would seem that oftentimes receiving forgiveness is that way. Sometimes it feels easier to take on the guilt and shame of things we have done, perhaps even doing everything we can to rectify the wrong. And that is good, the Bible does call us to do that. It is all part of repenting; turning away from sin (the wrongdoing) and dedicating yourself to changing your habits or way of life so you don’t do the same thing again. Another part of the process is asking for forgiveness. “Confess your sins to each other...” (James 5:16)

Once that is done, comes the hard part, receiving. It can be difficult to let go of the guilt, to let go of the shame of what we have done, and be willing to accept that we can be forgiven. But we can! When we ask forgiveness of the person we have offended, we also need to confess it to the Lord. He will give us the forgiveness and peace that our soul is longing for. “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.” (1 John 1:9)

If the God of the universe, who created all things, who died so he could offer us free and full forgiveness so that we can spend eternity with Him, and we accept that forgiveness, surely we can accept forgiveness from another person.

Forgive. Forgive as often as is necessary. Forgive freely. Forgive because the Lord has forgiven us. “Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.” (Colossians 3:13)

Ask forgiveness. Ask sincerely with the intention of correcting the wrong. Ask for forgiveness from those we have offended as well as from the Lord. “Repent, then, and turn to God, so that your sins may be wiped out, that times of refreshing may come from the Lord.” (Acts 3:19)

Accept forgiveness from those who we have offended and from the Lord. “In Him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God’s grace.” (Ephesians 1:7)

Find peace in your heart and soul in the forgiveness of Jesus.